...Isn't Something Missing...

This post was GOING to be a rant about Schoolies: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, a few lines of complaining. But then something happened...a friends dad died. And while I know that he will get through this and still be the great person he is destined to be, and I'm not afraid of death, its things like this in life, which put all other things into perspective. This last week has been a tense time for me, and while I have several friendships which are on the brink of being no more, I guess now I realise how precious it all is. It makes me sad and terrified that it took something as big as this to make me realise...
Ok, so after all this self absorbedness (shh its probably not a word, but guess what? Robbo's not here!), ...yeah i lost my train of thought.
But I went for a drive, I love the feeling of the night air on my skin, it makes you shiver, of cold, of warmth and adrenalin, I like night air...
Feeling pretty messed up at the moment, but i also feel like i have no right to feel half the things i am feeling at the moment, in the bigger picture, I am just a piece of the puzzle, small and insignificant.
Ok this is hurting, ranting and feeling like an idiot.

I will leave with some apt lyrics, the first line of which is directed at Mo

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll have woke up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'd be sacrificed,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
Shudder deep and cry out:
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

Luv Always
Cait