Teen Scenes and Drama Queens

On Monday, I was sitting in the Psych Orgy Lab (Read: Computer Lab for Psych students), working on my Case Study, and talking to Jenkins on msn. My Study was about adolescents, and eating disorders. Fortunately, I got some help from some experts:

AnorexiaAnon says:
Hey...It's teen-queen Mischa Barton, here. Whattup?
Me says:
Misha Barton wouldn't say whattup
Me says:
YOU FRAUD!!
AnorexiaAnon says:
Why aren't you talking to me? I'm on that show with the Phantom Planet theme song!!! It's like, amazing.
AnorexiaAnon says:
??
AnorexiaAnon says:
I'm no fraud. I'm like, incredible.
AnorexiaAnon says:
It's difficult being Mischa Barton, you know.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Sometimes I go whole days without a massage.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Can you believe that?
Me says:
whoa. That's like almost third world standards! You should speak to someone about that...
Me says:
like, how could anyone treat you like that
Me says:
you are, like amazing
AnorexiaAnon says:
I, like...know. 'N stuff. Becasue I'm really, amazingly delicate. My man-servant, Rico-Piers, has to do everything for me. And I mean, EVERYTHING. yesterday, I accidentally smacked him in the head reachng for some Manolos on a high shelf. I also broke one of his ribs. I don't know how these things happen.
Me says:
you're like, the next naomi campbell.
Me says:
although, you are like 8 ft tall, so the high shelf shouldn't really be a problem
Me says:
are you like, heaps intellect, 'n shit?
AnorexiaAnon says:
No! I didn't do it deliberately!!! Just like, when he scorched my favourite Marcs Jeans, I didn't mean to burn him with the iron. I accidentally tripped over the cord and it him in the face. For about three minutes.
Me says:
are you anorexic?
AnorexiaAnon says:
I eat HEAPS. Like, sometimes, I eat lettuce AND celery. That's only when I really pig out though. It's like, a comfort thing, you know.
Me says:
so you're not. Great. Put me on to someone who is.
Me says:
Is Lindsay there?
Me says:
Mary Kate?
AnorexiaAnon says:
I'll go get her, Lindsay...I mean.
AnorexiaAnon says:
*shuffling*
AnorexiaAnon says:
*vomiting*
AnorexiaAnon says:
*shuffling*
AnorexiaAnon says:
HEY! What'dyou want bitch? It's freaking Lindsay Lohan, 'aigght!
Me says:
aight
Me says:
so youo're anorexic right?
AnorexiaAnon says:
Yep. I eat Tic Tacs, though.
AnorexiaAnon says:
SoMetiMes.
AnorexiaAnon says:
But, I don't swallow.
Me says:
good girl
Me says:
so, can you help me with my case study, its about you and your friends, who eat shit all
Me says:
i need to know soMe statistics, and also any organisations who are trying to get their greasy mits on you to try and "help" you. Read: stuff you with fat
AnorexiaAnon says:
I don't eat shit. I, you know...am, though.
Me says:
you are shit?
AnorexiaAnon says:
Ummm...People tryna help? We-ell. Mischa has this annoying lackey named Rick something who trys to make me eat LETTUCE all the time. I mean, lettuce! Seriously!!! Like I'm some fat-arsed pig.
Me says:
fuck it, you're useless. Go get Mary Kate
AnorexiaAnon says:
OK. Hold on, she's in the bathroom...
AnorexiaAnon says:
*trips over Stavros Niarchos*
AnorexiaAnon says:
*shuffles*
AnorexiaAnon says:
*yells*
Me says:
why do they all shuffle?
AnorexiaAnon says:
"Yo, Mary-Kate...Get yo' scrawny ass over here!"
AnorexiaAnon says:
*shuffles*
AnorexiaAnon says:
...Hi?
Me says:
Mary Kate?
AnorexiaAnon says:
Yeah...
AnorexiaAnon says:
I'm really skinny.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Just typing is seriously straining me...
Me says:
Firstly, what are your thoughts on the fact that your sister is hotter than you, does it bother you?
AnorexiaAnon says:
What'dyou want?
AnorexiaAnon says:
Um...Beauty and the appreciation of it are really subjective things. Like, mabe ninety percent of people think Ashley is hottest, but I'm sknnier than Nicole Richie, and am therefore the hottest thing on two emaciated legs.
Me says:
ah i see
AnorexiaAnon says:
Plus, Ashley doesn't put out.
AnorexiaAnon says:
I do.
AnorexiaAnon says:
A LOT.
Me says:
now, you went to rehab, what happened?
Me says:
haha, i heard it was the other way around... you had your edge with the anorexia thing, and Ashley got her edge by being a slut
AnorexiaAnon says:
We had to sit in a circle and say life-affirming self esteemy things. Someone said, "Hey...Mary-Kate, I really liked you in 'New York Minute' and didn't think you sucked at all'. I thought that was really sweet. And Ashley is a sad-ass liar. She doesn't put out at all.
AnorexiaAnon says:
We also did that sex therapy thing, where you wear a band around your wrist and snap it everytiMe you have a negative, anorxia type thught. But, the first time I tryed that, I fractured my bony-ass wrist and had to stop.
Me says:
oh, that's a shame
AnorexiaAnon says:
Sorry, I only just saw this..." why do they all shuffle?"...GOOD pont.
Me says:
all my ponts are good
AnorexiaAnon says:
They are. When I lost weight, my ponts disappeared altogether.
AnorexiaAnon says:
We're both on anti-growth hormones, you know.
Me says:
instead of snapping bands, they should have had you snapping your extremities. You be the judge of how bad the thought is and snap a bone accordingly. "Eww food" = a finger. "Oh my fucking god, i am such a fat arsed, tubby grubby, lard slurping feral" = a leg
AnorexiaAnon says:
That's so totally right!!! Like, wow. You totally understand. You're such a good listener. I think the reason I'm a bony, miserable-lookin' pseudo-bohemian weirdo is becasue I'm under constant pressure and none listens to me, plus, I'm competing with my sister constantly so it's like totally a cry for attention.
Me says:
haha
AnorexiaAnon says:
Sorry, Lindsay just bit me, the slag.
Me says:
well, a compliment is due, you are much better to talk to than Mischa Barton and Lindsay Lohan
Me says:
maybe she was hungry
Me says:
she's probly used to sucking chicken bones
Me says:
"Oh, the flavour!"
AnorexiaAnon says:
I kicked her bony-ass face. She's going down later. I'm gonna steal her ugly boyfriend. That guy we all pass around...oh, what's his name...cisco adler??
Me says:
something like that
Me says:
he must like fucking skeletons
Me says:
does he work at the Ghost Ride at the fair?
AnorexiaAnon says:
That's cause he's a little prick. I mean, he's got a--
Me says:
haha
AnorexiaAnon says:
never mind.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Hmm. Lindsay just tripped over her own stupid, saggy butt. It was awesome.
Me says:
i imagine so
Me says:
i also imaging it will be in next weeks Who magazine
AnorexiaAnon says:
Oh, she's crying now. She can't afford to lose any of that water weight.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Hey, you know that freakin' massive tote I carry around all the time?
AnorexiaAnon says:
That's got a life coach in it.
AnorexiaAnon says:
An actual person.
Me says:
does he help?
AnorexiaAnon says:
Not really. He mostly just eats the change I drop in there. I don't think therapy is the answer for me.
Me says:
apparently not
AnorexiaAnon says:
I do watch Doctor Phil, though.
Me says:
maybe you should go to a resort where they only serve hot chips and chiko rolls, and you aren't allowed any fun until you've eaten...
Me says:
Dr Phil is hot
AnorexiaAnon says:
He's hot. I'm looking for a father figure because my greedy, fame-hungry parents denied me love and affection as a child.
Me says:
but what about your onscreen parents from Full HOuse?
AnorexiaAnon says:
They beat me. Plus, Ashley was the favourite...cause she put out.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Actually, um...
AnorexiaAnon says:
I retract that.
Me says:
when she was 18 months old?
AnorexiaAnon says:
Just gross and wrong.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Yeah. My bad,
Me says:
good, i didnt want to go there
AnorexiaAnon says:
Yeah. Anyway. Ashley's a moll.
AnorexiaAnon says:
I'm really hot. I'm gonna take off my massive jacket. Just a sec. This could be dangerous. I might break an arm or something.
Me says:
be careful
AnorexiaAnon says:
I'm pretty short of breath now.
Me says:
i thought, as an anorexic, you would have severe reactions to the cold
AnorexiaAnon says:
*shuffles*
AnorexiaAnon says:
I do. But the downy hair all over me helps a little.
Me says:
i see
AnorexiaAnon says:
What? That's totally, technically correct.
AnorexiaAnon says:
It's a known side-effect, you know.
Me says:
i know
AnorexiaAnon says:
How abut I give you more examples of famous twins with eating disorders. Would that help?
AnorexiaAnon says:
Matt Damon had an eating disorder, you know.
Me says:
sure
AnorexiaAnon says:
No, really.
AnorexiaAnon says:
I'm actually serious.
Me says:
go for it
AnorexiaAnon says:
Um...Former Playboy centrefolds Shaye( or Shane) and Sia used to lock themselves away for days at a time, and destroy all available foods with detergents etc. so that they couldn't eat.
Me says:
nice
AnorexiaAnon says:
They realised they were slowly killing themselves. I think they're on the motivational speaker circut now. I could totally do that too. Like, wow.
Me says:
like, wow
AnorexiaAnon says:
You should look them up, actually.
AnorexiaAnon says:
playboy+sia+twins+eating disorder might do it.
AnorexiaAnon says:
just don't go to porno sites.
Me says:
actually they were bulimic
Me says:
you should know that
AnorexiaAnon says:
So, that doesn't help?
AnorexiaAnon says:
Damn, I thought I was helping.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Helping.
AnorexiaAnon says:
I am so, like...not blimic.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Bulimc.
Me says:
http://www.shaneandsiabarbitwins.com/
AnorexiaAnon says:
B-U-L-I-M-I-C. I'm a suck-ass typst.
AnorexiaAnon says:
typist.
Me says:
They truly care about people and life.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Ha! Shane! I knew it.
AnorexiaAnon says:
Are you being sarcastic now.
Me says:
its from their site!
AnorexiaAnon says:
I read an interview with them a coupla years ago that I found to be really helpful.


Haha, it was a good, but totally useless conversation.





This is just gross. But check out the fake boobies! Haha