Sandpaper and Silk

Turns out I was wrong...
Love is exactly like a fucking knife... that's been stabbed into your guts and twisted about until you think you can bear it no longer, and then, nothing. You are left lying, bleeding on the ground...

Eight....

There Are Eight...






Small simple safe price
Raise the wake, and carry me with all my regrets
This is not a small cut that scabs and dries and flakes and heals
And I am not afraid to die
I’m not afraid to bleed, and fuck and fight
I want the pain of payment
What’s left but section of pygmy sized cuts
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks
Would you be my little cut, would you be my thousand fucks
And make mark-leaving space for the guilt to be liquid
To fill and spill over and under my thoughts
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter
I’m cutting trying to picture your black, broken heart
Love is not like anything
Especially a fucking knife…

Coz I can’t make it on my own, so cut my wrists and black my eyes

MY QUIZ: Many people got my favourite colour wrong... To all those people who put black... yeah obviously I love black... and white... but they aren't colours people! Hate to get you on a technicality but... they are SHADES :p

EMO-GOTH'S: Before I left for Middleton, I posted this thread on a forum, just to see what kind of response it got... if you're interested click on the link...

Emo-Goth Thread

  

CHEAPSKATE SHOPPING: is great. On Saturday morning, my brother and I went down to the local Salvo's to look around... I bought $6 Chuck's that are custom decorated, and Angus bought a $1 old Mercedes tie that he's going to wear to school in winter, its awesomely tiny and cute :D

MATT"S 18th: was held at his place on Saturday night. Much drinking and smoking occurred, with two of the usual suspects trying their hand at the latter. So unattractive. The 'Emo-Goths' sat around burning stuff, scaring poor Peanut with fire and trying to brand him, discussing awesome music, even though Tate may sometimes disagree :P We also laughed at Matt trying to jump over a broom... Illmo found it highly amusing to poke me repeatedly in the back with a stick and even when completely PARO, Matt can still play the guitar better than anyone I know... Amazing!

GRINSPOON: were awesome but I am uber sore. I got bitten by a spider... I think, either way I have a big welt on my leg and it is ouchy. I also have a massive blister on the back of my foot, and bruises everywhere. Moshpits and asthma don't mix... But it was totally worth it. SHIHAD and The COPS went off and the first band, GRAND FATAL were okay, still a little shaky on the stage presence thing... GRINNERS played the good songs off the new album, including Hold On Me :D As well as old faves from New Detention and Guide To Better Living. It was great.

THREE DOLLARS: I saw this acclaimed Australian film on Monday night. I liked the movie, even though the ending was rather ambiguous. The acting was great, especially that of the little girl NAME. She is the little girl from that ad that says "Don't Chop The Dinosaur Daddy!" For someone so young, she was quite extraordinary, especially in one particular scene. I don't really like the way most Australian films are shot, somehow they come off quite amateurish and choppy, and this one was the same, thought it was not too tragic.


I Don't Want To Fall To Pieces
I Just Want To Sit And Stare At You
I Don’t Wanna Talk About It
And I Don’t Want A Conversation
I Just Want To Cry In Front Of You
I Don’t Want To Talk About It


There's A Space Between Valleys
I Try Catch Your Eye
Make A Circle Square
A Rectangle Curve
You Smile As A Noun
And I Think Like A Verb

TIGHT-ARSE PUNK TUESDAY at The Gov: We missed the first act due to dinner being late coz I was talking to Jesskah on the phone and then Jess getting lost on the way, and trying not to run over a cat, but I heard that they weren't that great, so I don't care... The second act, Blow Up Betty were on when we entered. They are an all girl four piece punk rock band from Adelaide, and I thought they were really good, I was very impressed... Even if the Blackwood Boys were less so...
Local band Liability Of My Own were on next and it was cool coz Angus and I had spoken to the bassist on Saturday :) They were really good, and the lead singer was very pretty... despite being somewhat retarded... he managed to break the drums in the first 30 seconds :D... but still cool.
Angela's Dish from NSW were awesome and seemed genuinely happy to be playing. And the headlining act STR were also good, but the lead singer was a little whiny no matter WHAT Simon said :p
It was an awesome night, so many pretty boys, great music, good atmosphere, slightly dampened by the appearance of Annoying Girl from EVERY SINGLE CONCERT I SEEM TO GO TO!!!! Grrr
Anyways, I shall be going again, I suggest some of you join me...

UNI: Is back on again, and sucking more than usual because I have assignments due that I haven't done because I totally slacked off during the holidays... sorry 'Teaching Break'... Plus it's just boring! Except for right now, because I am sitting on the top floor of the library and if I look out the window, I can see all the tree tops and the beautiful blue sky... It looks pretty awesome, and I am not working, I am writing this while listening to a splendid playlist consisting of many of my favourite artists... so you can imagine the bliss pounding through my ears right now, I shall reveal to you the names of some of these artists... AFI, Allister, The Caesar's, Dashboard Confessional, Evanescence, Foreshore, Good Charlotte, Greenday, Hawthorne Heights, Jimmy Eat World, John Butler Trio, Mest, My Chemical Romance, Puddle Of Mudd, Something Corporate, Story Of The Year, Three Days Grace, and The Used... In no particular order ... *Rolls eyes* ... *cough* Stupid OCD *cough*

... Damn... Since being here in the library 'studying' I have written 400 words for my little blog... and only 180 for the assignment that is DUE TOMORROW!... Stupid Uni... Man, if I had a dollar for every time I muttered 'Stupid Uni...' I would be so rich, so rich in fact that I could bribe the uni board to just give me my degree now... well, I would at least have enough money to stop asking my parents for money... Damn work, damn paying tax... damn me being poor...

Yeah, so posting... haven't done much of it... mainly coz while I have done stuff, people have been there and prob don't wanna read about what they have just experienced... and since nothing else happens in my life, I have nothing to write about. However, seems some people have done my quiz and no one has done particularly well, this doesn't surprise me... I made it pretty difficult... No one knows me very well... But that's cool.

Last night was fun, went out with Steph, Kel, Bodie and RAF to Marion movies, saw the Interpreter. A big SORRY goes to RAF, and Lots of Big Hugs go to Jesskah! Hun, it'll be ok, I promise :)

I had a driving lesson this morning, which was cool because I got 15 things crossed off, w00t for me!
and I also had a bass lesson, which was fun... bass is always fun

Yeah I really don't have anything to write... less doing more thinking, because as painful as this sounds, I got a lot to figure out, I need to sort myself out. Confusion has well and truly set in...

If you want some interesting reading, Josh's blog is cool... as is Josh himself

Son Of A Preacher Man

check it out.

Ok, gotta go pack. Hopefully I can get back to the real world on friday...
Enjoy your holidays :)

~I STARTED RUNNING AWAY, WHEN I GET TOO CLOSE, I'M SCARED TO STAY...

It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Deathwish...

Seeing as I have a severe creativity deficiency, there is a link below to my quiz, thanks go to RAF for starting the latest trend :P

Take my Quiz...

Its pretty lame, and totally irrelevant... but yeah.

Dreams Aren't What They Used To Be...

Had the weirdest dream ever. Everyone was in in, and we had decided to go to this beach place that had really cool little cabins on the top of a cliff that overlooked the beautiful water…
Anyways, to get there, we had to go by bus, up this massive windy hill that looked really familiar but I don't know where it is... I hated this, I hate going up to the hills normally, let alone in a huge old bus. I can't quite remember clearly but there was something that we had to stop for halfway there. This meant stopping at a small pull-out area on the road. When we stopped, we were surrounded by cliffs on one side, and a huge forest on the other. It was amazing. After stopping for a fair while, we had a few new recruits, and we returned to the bus and made our way down another hill. This was scary. We finally made it to the beach, and found a huge share cabin surrounded by many smaller cabins along the top of this cliff.
They say reality is warped in dreams, which is so true, because when we got there it was a cliff.,.. later on in my dream, it was very easy to take a few steps and a small jump, and be on the sand ... :-S
Ok, this may seem like a boring dream to most, but it was fairly real, and I can see it happening with our extended group of friends... It was like when we went to Jo's at Easter, but we stayed there for longer, and it was Winter, so it was all cold and stormy! It was very cool :D

...Ok so maybe in retrospect it wasn't really a weird dream at all... But I liked it...

So Many Mistakes....

Catch A Falling Star...

I actually saw a falling star, or shooting star this evening. It was UBER cool :)

Megan O'Connor, 11 years old, fastest backstroker in NSW, competing at a national level just 3 months after finding out she has an aggressive form of Leukaemia which has so far attacked 98% of her white blood cells and is incurable. Pretty impressive.

So much work, so little time, so little sleep :(
If I never hear or write the word Polysomnography ever again, it will be way too soon!

Oh yeah! And to the guys I was speaking to the other day (Wednesday) What do you mean you guys aren't confusing!! You LIE!!! :P

Happy Birthday Al!! Hope you had a good one! :)

I promise a proper post soon...


*I'd Scream This Song, Right In Your Face, If You Were Here*

Candy Clouds Of Lullaby

While everyone is probably sick of reading about my woes, they wont stop, so neither will I. Last night, after Juan dropped me home, I settled in to watch Desperate Housewives, and promptly fell asleep. Mum woke me up at 11:30 ish and I went and crawled straight into bed. After an extremely restless sleep, I woke up this morning, and found I couldn't walk, such was the crippling pain in my shoulders and back. Mum tried to hug me and I screamed at her. I feel like I have massive welts and bruises all over my back. Its rather terrible.

I had other stuff to say... But now I cant remember...

Tonight I have had two conversations, with two different people about me breaking stuff, like my bones...
So I may as well come out with it.,..
I broke my collarbone when I was about 10, I fell out of a tree. It hurt like hell... It also happened on a Sunday afternoon... No doctors open...at all. Not Fun. Also, there is nothing that can be done for a broken collarbone... except wear a sling... and keep your arm inactive for ages.

I greenstick fractured my wrist when I was about 8. I fell off the clothesline. Yes, you read that right, Its one of those ones that spins around, and I used to love swinging on it... And one day I landed on the slab of concrcete... I THINK a Green Stick means that a shard of my bone was split off... either way, it was PAINFUL.

My other wrist involved a gam ewe used to play at school. I fell directly on my wrist and it broke.

My toe... Ahh Mimili. We were mucking around sliding around on sleeping bags and what not. I tripped over, got my toe caught, yeah, the pain. I actually didn't know I had broken it until we got back 2 days later, and I could barely walk... Much like this morning.
Wow, what a circular post.

On that note. I am going to bed

Night

Sisca

Last night... actually no, at 4:45 this morning I was awoken by MASSIVE pains in the back of my leg. The damn cramps have come back again and I am very unimpressed. I couldn't move... but it hurt so bad I couldn't stay still... When I got up I could barely walk, and it still hurts... What makes it worse is the fact that I think I am doing this to myself in my sleep... it's bad. Also, Jesskah decided to ring me at 6:30ish this morning, sounding hung-over and still giggling.. strange.

Also... when I was writhing around trying to get over the pain of the cramp in my leg... I managed to pull a muscle in my stomach... Don't ask me how... I got a glimpse of myself in my mirror... as I said... there was writhing... So yeah, I'm sore :(

That's all really...

NIghty-night

Luv Cait

Milk Bubble

Have you ever had one of those moments. When someone appears from your past, and you wish like anything that you look good, sound clever and witty, and come off just full of class...?

Yeah well, I didn't. In fact I came off like an idiot...

Let me paint you a picture... with words...
I was wearing bogan trackies, a black singlet and a brown top, old sneakers... my hair is wet and un-brushed, and I have this black headscarfe thing in it...
I'm at the newsagent... and here's the embarrassing part... reading a Girlfriend magazine... and before you all Shun and Excommunicate me... there was a reason for it... ANYWAY as I was standing there... this guy walked up the same isle... It was ALex... now this has no meaning to anyone except maybe Emma... but I went to primary school with this guy and he was my neighbour for a few year when I started highschool... We spent alot of time together, and he's really cool... But I haven't seen him in at least two years,.. Anyways, my mum then came up and said hello to him... while I had quietly replaced the Girlfriend magazine and picked up some other random music mag in the hope that I could ignore him and he would soon leave. Unfortunately nothing is ever easy for me! So after she had said hi, she then walked over to me and loudly claimed "Its that guy from Linden Park... What's his name?"... So I turned around and said "Hey Alex"... awkward conversation followed... he's had glandular fever and is planning to take next year off to spend four weeks living on a boat off the coast of Indonesia so he can surf... Ah go getting random facts about people...
Anyways, we left at the same time, which then meant that I had to get in the car with my 'cool as' L plates... while he got in his car... With his P's... Man I suck... It's worse coz he's YOUNGER than me... alot younger...

Oh well....

Btw Em - Still hot ;)

In other non-exciting news... Wait I'll start a new post...

EDIT: I have nothing interesting to say really. Both of this weekends' 18th's deserve a mention.
Soph's- Was very Pink!! Soph and Kim looked very cute indeed with matching but opposite ballet outfits :) Music was bearable, and it was a fun night. Unfortunately Juan didn't dye his hair pink, despite the 88 signatures I collected at the Unibar... do you know how many RANDOMS I spoke to!!! Peppy was outed, and I think Soph is very displeased... Well now you know!! :P
JAmes's - Was KOOL! I was greeted by a group standing in the middle of the road, we paused for a group photo, during which I was incessantly poked... Mike will DIE!! :p Went inside, listened to awesome music, played Pass the Parcel (hell yeah!), played Duck Duck Goose! and JAmes received a visit from his favourite person... Hire a Hubby! He even got his own 'Hire a Hubby' Shirt! Twas awesome.

Fin.

Oh, well I LOVE being ignored by two people I like and respect... It makes for a great day

*insert hurt face here*

Luv Cait